The holidays are fast ending as your waist line is fast expanding. The turkey and stuffing were great, the apple pie was out of this world and Christmas dinner was the icing on the cake. You haven’t denied your eyes or stomach anything that they craved. It’s been full stream ahead. Yet, the season is passing and there stands a formidable mountain ahead of you. The bulges in your stomach are beginning to resemble the wave of the Chesapeake Bay during one of those famous nor’easters.
It’s time for change. The next thought is DIET. You plan on not eating for a week! On second thought, you decide on only stuffing down apples and green beans until the first of February and start training for that marathon that has always eluded you. Your tight pants are beginning to strain your breathing. It’s either buy a new wardrobe or suck it up and start new again.
The Bible has many answers for life’s complex problems but I bet you never guessed that it has a diet made just for you. This one doesn’t cost you a dime, and in fact, will same you money in the near and far term. The concept comes from Matthew 16:24, “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”
The concept of the diet is rather simple. We must “deny” ourselves. We must adopt the attitude that giving up something that we desire is a good thing for our waste line, and our spiritual condition. Choosing to give up something for the greater good is an age-old concept that has weathered the test of time. If you think about it for a second, you do this all the time, and often times, without thinking about it.
Men, you choose not to flirt with that woman because you are married. You weigh the consequences and rightly decide it’s a bad idea. Ladies, you choose help the kids with homework because you can’t imagine them as high school dropouts. We choose to go to work each day because we like a roof over our heads and a car to drive and food to eat. We choose to deny ourselves that big-ticket item because it would throw us into too much debt.
Choosing to not eat so much food has some fabulous consequences. We save money! Who wants to save money? We look better. Who doesn’t want to be noticed? We don’t have to buy new, bigger, bulkier clothes. We choose to deny ourselves and the blessings of better health are smiling down at us. Who wants to live a long life? How many obese people do you see walking around in their 80s and 90s? The benefits far outweigh the sweet joy of one more bowl of ice cream.
It’s time for me to come clean. I love Breyers chocolate ice cream. It’s almost a religious experience for me. And I know just how to eat it for maximum pleasure. A professional ice cream tester came by the television station years ago and showed me the top secret method of eating that icy treat.
1. Don’t, and I repeat, don’t put your ice cream in a plastic bow. That is a cardinal sin! A glass or coffee mug is the preferred way to eat it.
2. Make sure the ice cream is rock hard when you dig it from the carton. Then, once it’s in the mug and sitting there just begging you to have your way with it, you wait. And wait. And wait. Give it three or four minutes and then sit down and hold the mug with your hand covering the outside of the cup. Slowly and methodically, take small scoops of the slowly melting desert from heaven from the side of the mug and enjoy!
My wife will not let me go to the grocery store because of this addiction. She knows 16 servings on the box really means two “Jon” servings. She knows I wiggle in the bed all night after indulging. I have a very hard time walking past the ice cream freezer and saying “no”.
But saying “no” is exactly what I have to do to keep my weight down and my marriage intact. “No” is a word we Americans don’t like to hear. Yet, we tell young kids that all the time.
“Don’t touch the stove! It will burn you,” we say to our kids.
“Don’t run in the parking lot. You could get run over!”
“Don’t eat that mushroom in the yard. It could be poisonous.”
“Don’t hit your sister, you could hurt her.”
God is our Father in heaven and we are His children. We certainly do not know as much as Him nor could we ever dream of it. He tells us to “deny ourselves” because it’s good for the soul and for the waist line. I’ve been a Christian for more than 20 years and have yet to hear a sermon on gluttony. The book of Proverbs, considered the great book of wisdom in the Bible, has some unique insight into this subject. It says, “and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.”
Wow! Talk about some vivid imagery! Gluttony is defined as “the act or practice of eating to excess.” We no longer live to eat but rather eat to live. Food becomes a passion, an idol in our lives that helps us to cope and brings emotional joy. Instead, God wants to be that passion and joy in your life. He blesses us when we deny ourselves and focus on Him rather than ourselves.
God’s diet places Him at the center of our lives. It helps us to understand that our bodies are His temple and that we are to take care of the temple that He, and He alone, created. The next time you are tempted to overeat, ask yourself this question. “What would God want me to do?” When you place Him in the eating equation, you might be pleasantly surprised by your ability to simply say “no”.
Good things happen to people who eat less. This is an irrefutable fact. So let’s start thinking on a spiritual level and give up something we love. And I will lead the charge. No more Breyers ice cream for one month! God, I promise!
The Bible tell us how the earth was created by God and describes how the first humans appeared. Some believe we evolved from apes or other assorted wildlife over the course of millions and billions of years. I once believed the “science” of evolution too until I converted to Christianity.
Don’t get me wrong. I am a scientist and I personally know dozens of scientists with degrees much higher and loftier than mine who believe the biblical account of creation over the pseudo-science of evolution. I know there are those who wouldn’t even say creation science is “pseudo-science” but is “wacko-science“. I understand your point, but we will have to agree to disagree. I have a degree in atmospheric science and minors in math, chemistry, and physics, yet I believe the creation account in Genesis that says we all descended from a common ancestral mother and father. God named them Adam and Eve. Even if you don’t believe the biblical account of our creation, humor me with your time as I delve into the first marriage relationship on planet earth.
Genesis 2:18 says, “The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Up until this moment, Adam was alone, busy taking care of the Garden of Eden and naming all of the animals that God had created. God immediately recognized that none of the animals were “suitable” for him. In other words, God saw the loneliness in Adam’s heart and wanted to bless him with a wife, a helper who would stand by his side through thick and thin. This is why the marriage vows in Christian marriage include “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”
God wanted to create a relationship on earth that would model the same type of relationship that He wants with each human being, a love relationship of honor, integrity and trust. Today, fewer and fewer people are choosing marriage. Take a look at this data of young adults from the Population Reference Bureau. www.prb.org/Articles/2010/usmarriagedecline.aspx. In the past 10 years, there has been more than a 10 percent decline in marriage. I believe marriage vows are becoming rarer because society is becoming more centered on “self” rather than “others.”
Marriage is not just a contract between two people, but a biblical covenant designed and ordained by God. His desire was to see Adam and Eve as helpmates who placed the interest of the others before themselves. His will for “Mary and Steve” is the same. Focus on the needs and wants of the other person and you might be surprised that your needs and wants will be met too. It might not happen immediately but you are more likely to get your desires when you place your spouse before yourself.
With the national divorce hovering around 50 percent for Christians and non-Christian households, there is a great need for all of us to examine our hearts and try to figure out ways that we can get along through the relational storms that are sure to come.
One of the best tactics we can use to strengthen a marriage is found in the creation story. Genesis 3:1 says “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
You may not believe in Satan but think of any enemy that wants to destroy your relationship or marriage. Nine out of ten times they will come to you when your partner is absent. You are alone and unguarded in your spirit. You are lonely and feel left out. You are angry and want revenge. Maybe you are sad and wanting company.
The bottom line is this: temptations that destroy marriages and relationships come to us when we are not “together”; physically or emotionally. The team is broken up and the fortress of love is left defenseless for a moment. This is what the devil did to Eve. She was alone; Adam is nowhere to be found. Adam had told her about the tree in the middle of the Garden. He told her what God said, “but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”
Satan would not have dreamed of appearing to both of them when they were together. His strategy is divide and conquer. Whether it’s a marriage, a family, a church, a region, or the country itself, he wants to sow seeds of discontent and half-truths to destroy the relationships that make us happy and are vital to our welfare. Jesus said, “A kingdom divided amongst itself cannot stand.” Intentionally deciding to “stay together” with your time, emotions, spirit, and physical bodies will do wonders for your marriage.
I’m sure you know the rest of the story. The snake lied to her and she bit, hook, line and sinker! Lies are like a cancer that will poison our marriages and friendships. Cancer doesn’t go away, it needs to be treated with the utmost diligence and speed to try to eradicate it and contain it’s spread before it’s too late.
The consequence of believing the lie was brutal for Adam and Eve. They were kicked out of the garden of Eden and told to go into a different type of world where they would have to work and sweat for everything that would sustain them. Their heaven on earth was over. You may be “Mary and Steve” and are reading this article, and most likely, separately. Your “heaven on earth” marriage fast mutated into a “Mars and Venus” drudgery of an existence.
Remember, after Adam and Eve sinned, God immediately came from heaven and entered the Garden of Eden. Why did He do this? I believe He wanted to restore their relationship with one another and with Him. He wants to fix things! Our choice is simple; keep doing the same things that don’t work and expect a different result or go to God for the help He desperately wants to give.
Do you remember the rest of the story? God confronted both of them about their disobedience. Genesis 3:12-13 says, “The man said, ‘The woman you put here with me--she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.’ Then the Lord God said to the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate.’”
The key to successful relationships is found in the tragedy in the Garden of Eden. Adam decided to blame the woman and God for his mistake. Eve decided to blame the serpent. Neither one wanted to take responsibility for their actions and say, “the buck stops here.” God judged their defiance exceptionally hard and kicked them out of the Garden.
What if they had come clean and admitted their mistake? Maybe God would have forgiven them and we would all still be living in that paradise. Nobody knows for sure but I do know this: To maintain healthy relationships and marriages, we must place the other person before ourselves. We must admit when we have made a mistake and promise to do better the next time. Trust me…I’m a recovering weatherman, and I know all about mistakes. Blaming others for our own problems and pain is a sure way to the death and destruction of your marriage, your sanity, and your relationship with your Creator.
Humility is the secret ingredient to relationships. It’s so secret, few have considered it, and fewer have practiced it. Jesus was so humble that He left the beauty and splendor of heaven and started His life in a small town in Israel, laying as an infant in a dirty cattle trough, that today, we romantically refer to as a manger. That is beauty and that is splendor at its finest!
Note to Readers: The names and the location have been changed for this story.
She couldn’t believe it! This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t. It was impossible and nobody would believe her.
What would her mother and father say? She had been raised in a well respected, moral home. She could hear her mother’s cries in the back of her mind when she told her the truth. She could feel the icy stare of her father who had the right to disown her.
What would her fiancée do? “Dump her,” she thought, “Or worse.” The law was the law. She could easily be arrested and sentenced to death.
Her parents would disown her, the love of her life turn his back on her, and the townsfolk gnash their teeth at her wild-eyed explanation. She would be the talk of the town. The gossip would grow like a tidal wave and sweep her away.
Life was over for her and she was only15. All of her hopes and dreams of a quite life in the country, a wonderful, loving husband by her side and plenty of little munchkins pulling at her apron were all a bitter, distant memory that would haunt her the rest of her life. She sighed deeply, “If they let me live.”
Samantha’s fears were strangling her faith. She saw what she saw and nobody could tell her differently. The light was real. She didn’t just see it, she felt it from the depths of her soul. The shadowy form wasn’t a ghost; it was peaceful and friendly. The words she knew she heard were audible. Her mind raced. Her heart ached. “It wasn’t a dream! It wasn’t a dream!”
What was she to do? Tell the truth and be doubly shamed or lie and be shamed? It would be only months, maybe weeks before the bulge gave her away. She was in a no win situation and only an act of God could save her from the public humiliation and scorn that was sure to fire her way.
A soft knock on her bedroom door startled her. “Yes?”
“Can I come in?,” said her mother, Amanda, worried over Samantha’s lack of appetite and sudden seclusion.
“Yeah,” sighed Samantha at a barely audible tone.
Amanda opened the door and saw tears cascading down her daughter’s reddened cheeks. She sat on the bed and hugged her. “You’ve got to tell me what’s going on."
Samantha glanced in the mirror at herself ever careful to not look her mother in the eyes. “Have I ever lied to you mother?” she sobbed, her petite hands trembling as they unsuccessfully swatted at her tears.
Amanda grabbed her hand. She stared at her daughter with a mixture of compassion and perplexity. “Of course not honey. What ever it is…God can work it out. You’ve just got to trust him dear.”
Samantha softly chuckled as she rolled her eyes toward heaven. “It just doesn’t make any sense.”
Her mother forced Samantha to look at her. “Did Bill try something with you?” Her soothing voice quickly turned bitter. “I know you guys are engaged but if he laid one hand on you then I’ll…”
“No mom!” interrupted Samantha.
Her weeping became violent as she struggled to breath. Suddenly, two men appeared at the door to her bedroom. It was her father and her fiancée. Neither had ever seen her like this. Bill rushed to her side and tried to touch her. She dashed away from his outstretched hands and ran to her father’s side. For the moment, she was at peace. As she held her father tightly, she fondly remember the times when she was a little girl, holding daddy’s hand on the sofa as they would listen to the breeze rustle through the windows of their home. She pictured her father coming home from work with his arms open wide at the door. She would jump in them and close her eyes and dream about her prince charming. Life was perfect. The world was a wonderful place. Dreams were real and couldn’t be stolen by cold hard realty. Until now.
Samantha opened her swollen eyes and looked at her mother and fiancée. She didn’t know how to say it. There wasn’t any good way. She forced a deep breath and muttered, “I’m pregnant!
Nobody said a word. The air in the room turned cold. Their stares turned colder. The silence was deafening, and deadly to her soul. She sniffled and continued as a slight smile flashed on her face. “But an angel told me it is God’s son, and that I‘m highly favored before God.”
Her mother drooped over the bed and cried. Her father stormed out of the bedroom and rushed out the front door. Bill stood over her and stared at her in disbelief. The righteous anger building inside of him was more than he could take.
“You’ve cheated on me and have brought shame on this entire family!” His words were calibrated for maximum pain. “And you have the gall to say that God made your pregnant!” He ran out of the bedroom as Samantha fell to the floor weeping. “We’re through!” he shouted as he slammed the door shut.
Samantha is really the Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ. Even though she was one of the most blessed people in the Bible, she had difficult times in her life.
Eventually, Joseph would need an angel to come to him and inform him of Mary’s sincerity. Without the angel‘s visitation, Joseph had planned to quietly leave the relationship The family learned the truth and accepted Mary once again back into their home.
There were many people in her village that looked down on her and judged her as an unwed teenage girl. If enforced, the penalty could be as harsh as death by stoning. She would be known by many as the fornicator who blamed God for her “sin”.
This is the Christmas Story through the eyes of Mary.
The next time you go through a storm in life, ask God to bless you through it instead of get you out of it.
Mary had no idea of the impact her faith would have on the lives of billions of people. None of us know the impact our faith will have on untold numbers of people either.
1. Focus on God’s gift and not your gifts: God’s gifts are often times taken for granted. Fresh air for the lungs, birds merrily singing during sunrise, and a passing smile from a stranger are some of His gifts. Ask any patient dying in the hospital about some of God’s gifts and they will inevitably lament about good health and more time on earth. It’s time we open our eyes to the wonders around us and begin to re-adjust our attitudes about life. The greatest Christmas I can recall had nothing to do with any gift I received but rather a gift I gave my mother. I will never forget her glowing eyes as she ripped away the wrapping and opened the box containing the sweater that took me months to save for. We have the power to give life with our actions or take it away. Joy is found with the giving of life and is the perfect way to celebrate the season when we celebrate the beginning of the greatest life to ever walk this earth.
2. Make your gifts instead of purchasing them: This works miracles for all involved. There is a great deal of satisfaction in spending time making a special gift for somebody else. Anybody can snap a finger and push a button on the computer and days later, a box appears at your door. For most people, it’s not the price tag on the gift that really matters but the thought and time involved. Money can not buy happiness and it can’t buy the perfect gift. The best gifts come from the heart and take time to either make or thoughtfully considered for that special person. My wife loves it when I make my own goofy birthday cards because it adds an element of myself that money cannot capture. Ask yourself the things you remember most about Christmas. For most of us, it’s the time with family, caroling in the neighborhood or snuggling on the couch to a holiday movie. Christmas is not about gifts, it’s about giving.
3. Attend a Christmas Eve Service: No matter your denomination or even your religious affiliation, experiencing the sights and sounds of a Christmas Eve service at one of the hundreds of churches on the peninsula is a must. Even if you do not normally do “the church thing”, take the time to understand the spiritual significance of the birth of the greatest gift to grace this planet. Prepare your heart ahead of time by clearing it from the clutter of the day. Open your heart to the message and try to clear your mind of all the anxiety and worry that seems to accompany the “happiest time of the year”. If you have kids, show them you are excited about the opportunity to worship the Lord in a country where we still have the freedom to do so. That kind of excitement is contagious.
4. Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” as a family: The American Film Institute rated this movie the number one American inspirational film of all time. The lead character was planning suicide on the Eve of Christmas when an angel came to his rescue and showed him all the lives that he had touched over the years. There will not be a dry eye among your family by the time the credits roll on this classic 1946 film. The soul-stirring message is as relevant today as it was the sixty-four years ago when it was created. Our lives have a purpose. Heaven is watching. The lives we touch today can boomerang and touch generations to come. Bring an extra box of tissues, snuggle on the couch, grab some popcorn (or chocolate in my case), and lose yourself in this timeless tale of the holiday season. It’s time well spent.
5. Read the Christmas story straight from the original source: The Bible. Dust off the Bible and turn to the beginning of one of the gospels. Slowly read the Christmas story with the family gathered around. If you have a fireplace, add some extra wood to it, turn on some classic holiday music, and enjoy the story about the birth of Christ, the most significant event in human history up until that point in time. Make sure you have a Bible that you can understand. There’s nothing worse (especially for the kids) than reading a Bible that contains English that is difficult to comprehend. This only turns the younger generation off to spiritual matters. There are parts to the story that you might not have known. Did you know that the three wise men risked their lives after meeting baby Jesus? Did you know about the conspiracy to kill Jesus as a baby? How about the public shame Mary, the mother of Jesus, must have experienced when she found out she was pregnant out of wedlock? The intrigue, suspense, and miracles will surprise you if you take the time to delve into the story of stories.
6. Commit to spending less time preparing for the big day: I must admit this is very appealing to me. As I write this, it is being strongly suggested to me by my wife Tina, who is the director of the Christmas decoration team at my house, to get up the outside lights. I have a dozen tightly packed boxes in the attic just waiting for me to unpack them and place them all around the outside of my house. I don’t do things half way…don’t believe in it! The airport has called several times complaining about my house being mistaken by pilots for runway lights. But as my kids get older and my body ages not as gracefully as I would like, the drudgery of eight to 10 hours of ladders that wiggle, lights that don’t work, and extension cords that don’t reach have gotten to me. And the icing on the cake last year was the reaction of my then eight year old son Caleb when I pulled him away from his video game to show him the pretty lights. He used to clap his hands together and jump up and down and yell, “That’s pretty daddy! You’re the best!” Last year, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Great dad, can I go back in and finish my game.” If preparing for Christmas stresses you out, don’t do so much! Commit to fewer lights outside, less stuff inside the house, maybe fewer parties. Enjoy the holiday and get a spiritual booster shot from it, don’t dread it and wish it away.
7. Take the family to Williamsburg: We live in one of the premiere vacation playgrounds in the States. With the Atlantic Ocean just to our east, the Chesapeake Bay outside our backdoor, and historic Williamsburg a few minutes west, residents of the peninsula have a unique opportunity to enjoy a vacation without driving for days on end or being strip-searched at the airport. Why not head to Williamsburg just before sunset and park in the Colonial section of town? Confiscate the kids iPods, cell phones and hand-held video games and “force” them to walk among the ageless buildings. The lights are spectacular, the decorations first class, and the food to die for. Erase everything occupying your mind and cherish the timeless classic beauty that surrounds you. Tell the kids about our history, the constitution, the men who risked their lives to be free from England. Tie it into the Christmas story and have some fantastic family time away from the hustle and bustle of the big city. You have the power to make it happen! Christmas was meant to be enjoyed!
