Spiritual Living by Jon Cash: Keeping the faith in Hampton Roads

What's the secret to a perfect marriage? Talk, forgive and be happy

I will never forget the words of a close friend who, when talking about his marriage some years ago, said: "We never fight. Never!" Those words were like a knife to my soul.

I had been married a few years at the time and fighting had become an unwelcome weekly ritual. (Ok, sometimes it was daily or even hourly). I wanted the secret to his perfect marriage. I figured I would sit down at the feet of this marriage master and absorb every word. You see, I needed help! (I should come clean and say I still do.)

I didn't have the perfect marriage, but boy did I want it. When I had that secret, we would be like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. No worries, no problems. Peace and harmony with no conflict in sight. Sound like a dream? Of course.

After 17 years of marriage, I have concluded that there are two types of people in the world: married people who fight and unmarried people who think marriage will end all the fights.

Did I forget to tell you about my close friend's secret to eternal married euphoria? Did the love guru ever tell me? No. You see, he got divorced six months later. I can't tell you how surprised I was. He really had me believing he had the secret to a perfect marriage. The truth is he and his wife never fought because they never talked. Any disagreements were quickly squashed and tossed under the rug.

If you toss a problem under the rug, it will come back and bite both of you unless you come to grips with it. Alcoholics learn the first step to sobriety is admitting they have a problem. Faith teaches that confronting selfishness, anger and resentment with humility and honesty is a must for any relationship to thrive.

When Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the forbidden fruit, their initial reaction was to run away and hide. Take time to read the story in Genesis Chapter three. This ageless story reveals so much about human nature and relationships. Our great, great, great, great (you get the idea) grandparents ran from the problem and hid like children who just emptied the cookie jar.

God could have simply tossed them aside and forgotten them. He could have created other humans. After all, they chucked His command to the dirt and intentionally disobeyed him.

The encouraging part of the story is God's reaction. Genesis tells us he went to the garden to restore the relationship and move forward; they wanted to pretend everything was just peachy. While Adam and Eve were blaming everybody but themselves for their strained relationship with their Creator, God was doing everything He could to get them to come clean, admit guilt and fellowship with Him again.

I'm learning (notice I didn't say "learned") that marriage is a life-long commitment that must be constantly managed and massaged. Confront the difficulties (sometimes with outside help), forgive readily and without judgment and learn to "agree to disagree" without bitterness in your hearts.

Be like God and respond to conflict with kindness and restoration in your heart. The happiest people are peacemakers who don't hold grudges.

Job Loss? Divorce? Keep the Faith: When God closes one door, He opens Another

Many people have told me that "when God closes one door He will open another one."

I had this plan to end my television career in August of 2011 and plunge into the ministry full-time as an evangelist. My contract was up at my television station at that time, I reasoned. I figured I would have a year to save up some extra money because ministry doesn't make anybody rich. It made sense to give it an extra year so I could find monthly donors to help in the transition to a non-profit ministry. Simply put, my plan made sense.

My time-table was set, and the plan was forged in steel. I told God that this outline must be His because it made lots of sense. I would serve Him full-time starting in one year, and it would be great!

Today, I look back at all of my "brilliant" ideas and can picture the Lord chuckling at my strategy. I am learning that God's ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. My well thought out game-plan was my idea; God had a much better idea.

If a door has closed in your life and you have faith in God, open your eyes and heart and look forward with joyful anticipation. Even glancing backward can lead you to second guess God and send you into a pit of self-loathing and even depression. Focus on the future and not the past and know something new, something better is on the way.

I am learning that "where God leads He provides." Whatever purpose He has for my life and your life will be blessed by Him. Of course, the secret is finding out His purpose for each of our lives and then moving forward in faith.

My faith in God has allowed me to hold no bitterness that could derail the mission given me. Deep down in my heart (many call this faith) I know that everything that has happened to me is a gift from God designed to fulfill my purpose on earth.

Do I understand everything? No. Do I know the future? Hardly. I had enough trouble trying to do that with the weather! I do know this. All things will work together for good for those who trust God. Does that mean it's going to be easy? That I doubt. Will there be bumps in the road? Yes. In fact I think I've even seen a few mountains shooting skyward mocking my every move.

Have you lost a job? Did your relationship crumble and leave you lonely? Did a dream suddenly collapse with no hope of recapturing it? It could be that things are not as they appear. I believe there is another dimension called the spirit world which exercises control over everything we can see and feel and touch. It hides itself from those who don't believe in it yet reveals itself to those who earnestly seek it.

My journey is just beginning, and I feel like a kid again. I am excited and full of joy and peace. Many of you may already be on that journey and can probably teach me a thing or two about what's coming.

Thank you for your prayers! If you haven't considered a journey for yourself, today might be the day to begin "the rest of your life."

Caught in Hampton Roads Traffic? Slow Down, Thank God and Enjoy Life

I was recently stuck in a traffic jam on Interstate 64. You might know the place. It's where a bunch of lanes suddenly merge into two as you travel toward Williamsburg.

I know I am writing a column on spiritual matters, and this is not the place to mock traffic engineers who could have planned an additional lane. But the traffic nightmare is the perfect example of our lives as Americans.

I've had the opportunity to travel to many countries including Russia, Cuba, and Nigeria on missionary and humanitarian grounds. One thing always stands out no matter where I go. While most of the world knows how to stop and relax and soak in life to the fullest, Americans (including myself) tend to race through life without stopping (even for a brief moment) to smell the roses. The happiest people I have ever met were dirt poor but rich in spirit and life.

There is so much to do on the peninsula that we seldom enjoy any of it the way God intended. We schedule out our day and then collapse in bed emptied by the busyness of life.

Now back to that wonderful traffic jam.

The faster and crazier that life gets, the more likely that our spiritual life will suddenly grind to a complete halt. Can we see it coming? Most of the time we can if we know the road ahead of us.

When we get to know God we begin to get glimpses of that roadway. God wants to direct our steps and move us forward toward a greater understanding of Him. It's called the "straight and narrow path."

Hampton Roads is a wonderful area and a perfect cross-section of America. Maybe it's time for us to slow down a bit and drink in life. When I get caught in the congestion I like to look around into the cars beside me. Most people (including myself sometimes) are staring off into the distance annoyed by the loss of time.

What if we were to kick it back a couple of gears and begin to settle down. Everybody rushing around only adds to the congestion. The busier we get the more we are forced to slow down anyway. A very popular Bible verse says to "Be still and know that I am God."

The older I get the faster that time passes (and the less hair I get to comb). At the end of my life, am I going to be excited by all the things that I fit into my schedule? Doubtful. Will I smile at the 12- or 14-hour workdays? Not!

I will fondly remember the look on my son Caleb's face when he hit his first home run. I will smile at holding my daughter's hand as I walk her down the aisle. I will cherish the weekend getaways to the Outer Banks with my bride of 17 years. I'll prize the moments sitting on my back porch staring into the heavens.

It's really hard to know God while racing along the highway of life. Even when He tries to slow us down, we usually stare off into the distance oblivious to the life around us.

Take a few things off of your schedule this week and make time for life. Before we know it, we will all be looking at life in the rear view mirror wondering what happened to all the time. Savor each minute as a gift from God. Live life one moment at a time.